More than the logistical and financial aspect of buying a home, there’s one often-overlooked element that makes the entire process extra stressful: relationships. When you’re trying to buy a property with your spouse, expect to get into a few fights here and there precisely because you and your partner have different tastes and preferences. This doesn’t mean that you’re doomed, though. Like in every other aspect of the relationship, a good talk can smooth things out. Your goal then is to be a good communicator, a listener, and a negotiator when you get into these disagreements:
Where to live
Location is one of the most important aspects of home buying, given that it affects everything, from your commute to your office in Manila to the kind of people that will be added to your social circles. If you’re not on the same page when it comes to priorities on the neighborhood you want, you will likely fight over this. The solution to this is to talk to each other about what matters to you and your relationship at the moment and in the next five years at the least. Is it to grow your family? Is it to expand your professional and social networks? Have a list of things you want in your community before seeing houses, and make sure to agree on them. It’s good if you can check out model units such as the Diana house model by a Cavite property developer. That way, you can better visualize what it means to live in a particular home in a particular neighborhood.
When to make an offer
One partner thinks that they have already found the one, while the other believes that there’s another better property that’s meant for them. Hence, sometimes it ends up with a lot of waiting and extensive, exhausting home search, only to realize in the end that they should not have given up the first property they liked. Other times, it leaves a buyer’s remorse—feeling that they should have gone to more open houses. The rule of thumb here is to visit three to five homes. It’s a number that’s not too many that you get analysis paralysis later and not too limited that you feel robbed of the opportunity to view other properties. Remember to have your list of must-haves (not nice-to-haves) when inspecting homes. When you’re able to see such in one house, stop looking for more. Believe it or not, this is already the house meant for you. Make the offer already.
How much the budget is
Of course, money matters are included in home-buying couple fights. One partner thinks that it’s okay to get a bigger loan for a dream home, while the other wants to be on the safe side. In such situations, your primary goal is to stay away from the money pit. Hence, for the one who badly wants to get the dream home, it’s up to you to show to your partner how you can afford to pay off the big mortgage. For the one who’s a bit more realistic, you have to find a creative compromise on your partner’s wishes. As long as you settle on a way to keep yourselves off debt, you’re good.
In the midst of all the stress and fights, remember that the home you’re buying will have no use if you end up parting ways. Therefore, don’t lose sight of what’s important. Keep your relationship intact while fulfilling your dream.